Dealing With Difficult People
Introduction: Dealing with Difficult People
The Bible shows that God gives mankind freedom to choose. In the grand tapestry of human existence, this freedom encompasses a wide range of choices, including those made by individuals who opt to cause trouble for others. Throughout history, individuals have grappled with the challenge dealing with such difficult people, and this predicament is far from exclusive to any one era or society.
When Jesus Christ lived as a human, He had to deal with many difficult people. His earthly journey was marked by interactions with individuals who tested His patience and provoked Him in various ways. Yet, Christ’s remarkable response to these challenging individuals provides us with a profound source of wisdom and guidance in navigating the complexities of human relationships.
Jesus’s examples, along with other instructions found within the sacred texts of God’s Word, offer valuable insights on how to handle those who cause strife in our lives. The teachings from the Bible provide a timeless and enduring framework for addressing difficult people with grace, understanding, and resilience. In this article, we will delve into the wisdom derived from the Bible and explore practical strategies for dealing with difficult people, drawing inspiration from the way Jesus himself navigated these challenging interactions.
Point 1. What Does the Bible Say About Dealing With Difficult People?
God wants us to strive for peace.
In a world where we often encounter difficult people, you may have observed someone else grappling with such individuals, or you may have had your own experiences dealing with them. It’s natural to wonder how the Bible addresses this common challenge.
You may know someone else who has had to deal with difficult people, or you may have experienced dealing with them yourself. Life often introduces us to difficult people and challenging situations. When we turn to the Bible, we find a profound perspective on how God uses these encounters to shape our character.
As you study the Bible, you find that God lets other people and experiences build character in us. Many times, our initial reaction to a difficult person is to hope they will simply go away and trouble someone else. But what if you are the chosen vessel for this test?
Often, we just want the difficult person to go away and bother someone else. But what if that someone else is you? This is where our motive becomes crucial. How should we approach difficult individuals, and what should be our guiding principle in dealing with anyone?
What should our motive be when dealing with anyone?
The Bible offers invaluable guidance on this matter, emphasizing the importance of pursuing peace and maintaining harmonious relationships.
Hebrews 12:14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
The Bible stresses that we should strive to live in peace with everyone, even when it demands substantial effort on our part. These verses remind us of the active role we must play in fostering peaceful relationships, regardless of how others treat us.
Regardless of how others treat us, we are to try to have peaceful relationships with them. We must make every effort to live in peace; that’s a lot of effort. Jesus Christ, often referred to as the Prince of Peace, echoed these sentiments in His teachings. In the Beatitudes, He highlighted the blessedness of peacemakers. (Matthew 5:9).
These profound biblical principles lay the foundation for understanding how to deal with difficult people in a way that reflects God’s teachings and promotes personal growth. They remind us that our encounters with challenging individuals are not arbitrary but rather opportunities for personal and spiritual development. This perspective shifts our focus from merely wishing for difficult people to disappear to embracing the role we play in these interactions.
In the following sections, we will delve deeper into practical steps and strategies rooted in this biblical wisdom to effectively navigate challenging relationships. We’ll explore how these principles can be applied to your everyday life, allowing you to not only deal with difficult people but also emerge from these encounters with your faith and character strengthened.
Point 2. What important character traits are needed to deal with difficult people?
Humility
One of the essential character traits required to navigate the challenging terrain of dealing with difficult individuals is humility. It stands in stark contrast to conceit and selfishness, serving as the bedrock for handling such situations effectively. The opposite of conceit and selfishness is humility. Humility is necessary to properly deal with difficult people.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.
This verse underlines the significance of placing the welfare and concerns of others before our own. Humility, therefore, becomes the cornerstone of striving for peace, as it calls us to treat others with respect and empathy.
Patience
When we seek patience in our interactions with difficult people, we extend to them what we hope they will offer us for our own shortcomings. We would want others to be patient with our shortcomings, and we should be patient with theirs.
James 3:17-18 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness
In this context, patience is a vital element of heavenly wisdom, serving as an essential trait for peacemakers. It reminds us that patience is not only a virtue but a means of sowing peace, ultimately reaping righteousness.
Long Suffering
Dealing with individuals who insist on being right about everything or always demanding their way can be exasperating. Here, the principle of “going the extra mile” comes into play.
Matthew 5:41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles
Christ’s message is clear: true wisdom is displayed in our willingness to yield to others when necessary. He said we are to go the “second mile” if that is what it takes to have peace. We show wisdom, not weakness, when we are willing to yield to others.
Selflessness
To deal effectively with difficult people, we must learn to put our interests last and focus on the welfare of others.
Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others
In essence, we are called to shift our focus from self to others and to treat them with selflessness and genuine concern.
Consider the example of Abram and Lot, as portrayed in Genesis 13:6-11. Abram, despite having the right to first choice, allowed Lot to select the land he desired. This selfless act paved the way for a peaceful resolution, highlighting that choosing peace often requires setting aside personal preferences.
Friendship
What do we do when confronted by individuals who seem to have a grudge or continually oppose us, such as a difficult boss or colleague?
Luke 12:58 As you are going with your adversary to the magistrate, try hard to be reconciled on the way, or your adversary may drag you off to the judge, and the judge turn you over to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison
Matthew 18:15 If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
These verses encourages us to make every effort to turn our adversaries into friends. Matthew 18:15 provides further guidance, advising that when a brother or sister sins against us, we should privately address the issue, seeking reconciliation.
Instead of letting a problem continue to escalate, we must try to make them our friend, strive to win them over. Approaching the difficult person with gentleness and a determination to make them our friend, while addressing their transgressions, is a powerful way to diffuse conflicts and restore peace.
Addressing problems promptly and in a godly manner is key to preventing minor issues from escalating into major conflicts.
Righteousness
Another crucial element in dealing with difficult people is ensuring that we ourselves are living in righteousness. Therefore, we must make sure we are being righteous.
Psalm 119:165 Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.
Psalm 119:165 emphasizes that those who love and follow God’s law experience great peace and are less likely to stumble. Righteous living acts as a key to personal peace when handling challenging individuals.
Proverbs 16:7 When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them.
Proverbs 16:7 further reinforces this concept by suggesting that when the Lord takes pleasure in someone’s way, even their enemies are inclined to make peace with them.
By adhering to God’s ways, we not only discover the path to personal peace but also embody the identity of peacemakers. While not everyone may like who we are, they will certainly appreciate the peace we bring.
Remember being a peacemaker is a sign that you are a follower and imitator of Christ; being a troublemaker is a sign you are an imitator of Satan.
Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
These principles align with Matthew 5:9, which blesses peacemakers and calls them children of God, highlighting the profound connection between living a life of peace and mirroring the nature of the Divine. In our quest to deal with difficult people, these character traits and principles serve as our guide, helping us navigate the tumultuous waters of human interaction with grace, wisdom, and compassion.
Point 3. Answering those difficult questions about dealing with difficult people.
Is there ever a time we should “get even” with someone who mistreats us?
In the face of mistreatment, the Bible offers a resounding answer: we should never treat others in a way we would not want to be treated. Regardless of how we are treated, we have no right to seek vengeance.
Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
This verse not only highlights the importance of treating others with fairness and respect but also underscores the idea that revenge is reserved for God alone, as only He can carry out righteous justice.
Romans 12:17-21 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:17-21 amplifies this message by instructing us not to repay evil for evil but to overcome evil with good. This not only serves as a powerful testament to our faith but also makes a profound impression on those who may mistreat us.
How do we deal with situations or people that always create problems?
The Bible advises us to exercise prudence and seek refuge whenever we perceive danger. In cases where confrontation cannot be avoided, we should choose our words carefully, using restraint.
Proverbs 22:3 The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.
Proverbs 22:3 emphasizes the importance of being prudent in recognizing potential dangers and taking steps to avoid them. It’s a reminder that not all battles are worth engaging in, and sometimes the wisest choice is to disengage.
Proverbs 17:27-28 The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.
Proverbs 17:27-28 further reinforces this notion by highlighting the power of using words with restraint and the wisdom of silence in certain situations. Even Christ, when faced with certain dangerous circumstances that were getting out of hand, chose to withdraw from the turmoil.
Mark 3:6-7 Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus. Jesus withdrew with his disciples to the lake, and a large crowd from Galilee followed.
How do we deal with people who continually take advantage of us?
While it may go against our natural inclinations, the Bible encourages us to pray for those who treat us badly.
Matthew 5:43-48 You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48 challenges us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. This not only reflects the character of our Heavenly Father, who shows kindness to all, but also serves as a stark contrast to the world’s way of responding to mistreatment. It is an opportunity to demonstrate God’s love and grace.
When people continually ask for help, God advises us to assist them. However, if we suspect they are taking advantage of our kindness, we should entrust the situation to God, allowing Him to work it out.
How do we answer people who like to argue or just want to be heard?
The Bible recognizes that some individuals are firmly entrenched in their opinions and are not open to discussion. In such cases, it is often best not to engage further.
Proverbs 26:4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.
However, when someone seeks to elevate themselves by making detrimental comments about others, a polite response that highlights their error may be appropriate.
Proverbs 26:5 Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.
For example, certain individuals brought a woman caught in adultery to Christ stating that she should be stoned as the law says. Their only motive was to see what Christ would say; they didn’t care about the woman. So Christ politely told them that those present who had never made bad mistakes should cast the first stone. This answer peacefully and immediately silenced their accusation (John 8:3-9).
How do we deal with someone who is always angry?
Responding to someone’s anger with a gentle, soft tone can often have a calming effect. In contrast, meeting anger with anger tends to escalate the situation.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
If someone is perpetually known for their anger, the Bible advises us to maintain a healthy distance to avoid getting ensnared in their troubles.
Proverbs 22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
Proverbs 22:24-25 wisely instructs us not to make friends with a hot-tempered person and to avoid associating with those who are easily angered. The rationale behind this counsel is that prolonged exposure may lead us into their patterns and result in our own ensnarement.
In cases where individuals show contempt towards God’s leaders or reject direction and instruction, God’s word offers guidance on addressing this. Contempt towards those who serve God in leadership roles is viewed seriously, and it’s crucial to address such situations to maintain a sense of order and respect.
Deuteronomy 17:12-13 The man who shows contempt for the judge or for the priest who stands ministering there to the Lord your God must be put to death. You must purge the evil from Israel. All the people will hear and be afraid, and will not be contemptuous again.
Deuteronomy 17:12-13 emphasizes the necessity of purging contempt for those who minister to the Lord. It is an important reminder that such behavior must not go unchecked, as it can lead to chaos and irreverence within the community.
These biblical principles provide invaluable insights into handling complex and challenging scenarios involving difficult people. They offer guidance on responding to mistreatment, avoiding unnecessary conflicts, dealing with individuals who take advantage, and managing various interpersonal challenges. Through these teachings, we can navigate the complexities of human relationships with wisdom, grace, and adherence to God’s principles.
Conclusion: Dealing With Difficult People
In conclusion, as we navigate the complex landscape of dealing with difficult people, we must remember that God’s intention for us is to be peacemakers. Through the wisdom and guidance found in His word, we discover the path to effectively managing these challenging interactions.
Throughout our journey, we have explored three key points, each offering essential insights into cultivating the character traits and attitudes necessary to handle difficult people:
Point 1. What Does the Bible Say About Dealing With Difficult People?
God calls us to make every effort to live in peace with everyone, irrespective of how others treat us. By actively striving toward peace and choosing to be peacemakers, we mirror the character of our Heavenly Father.
Point 2. What important character traits are needed to deal with difficult people?
The Bible emphasized the significance of character traits such as humility, patience, selflessness, and righteousness in our interactions with challenging individuals. These virtues are not only a reflection of God’s nature but also powerful tools in our quest to maintain harmonious relationships.
Point 3. Answering those difficult questions about dealing with difficult people.
Through these biblical principles, we learned to avoid seeking revenge, exercise prudence, respond wisely to arguments, manage anger with gentleness, and address contemptuous behavior in a manner that upholds both justice and respect.
God’s desire for us is to be peacemakers, to strive for harmony and reconciliation. When we embrace this calling, even difficult people can be influenced by the respect and concern we extend to them, just as we wish to be treated when we ourselves are being difficult.
As we wrap up this journey, it’s essential to recognize that learning more about God’s word is a valuable asset in navigating our relationships with all people, both challenging and harmonious. The Bible offers timeless wisdom and practical guidance for fostering peace, building character, and enhancing our interactions.
In closing, I encourage you to consider memorizing one or two of the scriptures shared in this article. These verses can serve as beacons of wisdom, guiding your steps when faced with challenging individuals. By incorporating these teachings into your daily life, you not only strengthen your own character but also contribute to a world where peace and respect transcend the difficulties that may come your way. If you are looking for a spiritually-minded community eager to put God’s word into practice, come visit us!