What separates a man from a child?
Everyone grows up physically, yet the very thing that defines a man and a child emotionally differ greatly. Just because a person may have knowledge, talent or money does not guarantee the important qualities of a man. Deep inside, many who possess these are still children in the way they think and act. In actuality, maturity is the on one thing that separates children and fully grown men.
I personally have been challenged to “grow up” or to “man up”, yet my constant response to these comments were: “I’m trying” or “I’m doing my best”. Maturity I see now is not something I can simply change overnight. However, maturity is who you are, it represents your character: how you think, how you react and how you act. In this article, we will be taking a page from the book of Genesis, we will be going through the story of Lot and see how he dealt with his own immaturity.
Point 1: Never Learning, Never Leading
”So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where his tent had been earlier and where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord. Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to stay together. And quarreling arose between Abram’s herders and Lot’s. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land at that time. So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”“ (Genesis 13:1-9)
Like Lot, the immature are always reliant on other people’s faith, this is seen in their focus on today. Rather than think of their future, they are focused on their life what they can gain, do and have now. In the Bible, Lot has spent a lot of time with Abram, and during that time he greatly prospered. He acquired great wealth, livestock, yet when he separated from Abram, we will see that he did not enjoy the same prosperity.
How could that be? Perhaps his time spent with Abram was simply to enjoy life.
Do you find yourself saying the same thing?
- “I want to enjoy my university life, working life”
- “I want to fix my life first, I’ll worry about these things later”
Yet in that time of complacency, he could have taken the time of prosperity to learn and be capable himself. He could have asked Abram how to:
- Have a relationship with God
- Tips on how to have a good household or even lead his marriage
- Tips on how to raise a flock
Imagine if he did seek to learn, the book of Genesis would be much longer! Lot could perhaps have preached and saved Sodom and Gomorrah, rather than be destroyed with it. Lot would have saved himself when the kings attacked later. Just like Lot, do you find yourself simply ”just enjoying life” ? In the same way are you relying on someone else for help in life? Are you finding it difficult to live life in the following areas:
- Physically
- Emotionally
- Spiritually
- Financially
In this instance, you have found yourself in a position of a child. Like a child you:
- Cannot process his own emotions.
- Needs constant supervision
- Cannot operate anything competently
Eventually a child will have to leave their parents sooner or later and many who are immature will face the reality that sooner or later they will have to grow up. With that understanding maturity now becomes a skill issue. To get out of this, we must strive to become capable, find someone who is good in a certain area and seek advice to learn. Strive to understand and learn even the basics, to start from the following skills are a good start:
- Waking up on time
- Having a schedule
- Cooking
- Doing your laundry
- Budgeting
The immature don’t seek guidance
”Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company: Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Now the people of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.” (Genesis 13:10-13)
There came a time where Lot and Abraham had to split ways because of their increased prosperity. The immature are ultimately reliant on what they think. They are concerned with the things they can gain, they can do and they can understand. Lot chose a plot of land that he thought was good. On the other hand, Abraham was focused on other people (in giving the first choice to Lot) and asking God to later ask for blessing and guidance. The same can be said to us. How often do we ask for advice? Or do we decide impulsively when we go “I think this…”?
”For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.“ (Proverbs 11:14)
Some questions to think about:
- Do we ask advice?
- Do we ask from the right people?
- Do we even ask God?
- If you do, do you follow it?
- Do you do so just to check a box – at least I tried looking?
We need to seek to change it therefore, it is up to you, strive to learn, strive for advice, exhaust yourself to change! For that is the only way we can change our maturity to ask advice, to grow and to learn.
Point 2: No Surprise To Suffering When You Have No Standards
Maturity is a character issue, it’s related to how you feel, react and see situations. Some signs of immaturity Are as follows:
- You are often emotion-led and moody
- You never take responsibility
- You resort to blaming other people, situations or even God
- You want to be the centre of attention
- You have a careless and a carefree attitude.
- You think of yourself first
- You have a deep sense of entitlement
- You dislike comfort or change
We continue with Lot’s story
”The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.” (Genesis 19:1)
Lot Later on in life progressed closer to Sodom and Gomorrah from the outskirts to the gate. We may not know the exact reason to why he moved. He could have moved for better trade opportunities for his career, for the convenience, to be around his friends and so on. Though he knew the wickedness of the city, we can understand that he compromised, he did not separate himself from it, rather allowed to live with the wickedness of others. He simply allowed his standards to drop intentionally or unintentionally.
“Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” (Genesis 19:4-5)
He was tolerant of their behaviour, it does not seem like it was a shock for him that the towns people did this. Yet he did nothing about it. Just like Lot, what are you still on the fence about? What standards of life do you refuse to make a decision on? Ultimately immature men are opposed to making a decisions and too often delay. This is because they are afraid of being responsible for a decision they make and strive of pass responsibility, in fear of disapproval from others.
In the same way, what are you being indecisive about? Are you indecisive about God? Your own righteousness?
At the end of it, Lot suffered the fruits of his immaturity. Because Lot did not make a stand, he and the others around him were the ones affected.
Do we understand what became of Lot’s family?
- He was perfectly ok with having his daughters raped
“They called to Lot, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them.” Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” (Genesis 19:5-9)
- He reached a point where he was more concerned of his own comfort even when his life was at stake. He knew that the city was about to be destroyed, and the angels came to save his life. Yet his concern was to run not to the wilderness but to a city.
“But Lot said to them, “No, my Lords, please! Your servant has found favor in your eyes, and you have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can’t flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I’ll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn’t it?” (Genesis 19:18-20)
- He ultimately had his wife disobey him and later die
“Thus he [God] overthrew those cities and the entire plain, destroying all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.“ (Genesis 19:25-26)
- To then lose everything he has worked for (house, property, flocks, etc.)
“Early the next morning Abraham got up and returned to the place where he had stood before the Lord. He looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace. So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.” (Genesis 19:27-29)
Point 3: Giving Everything, or Giving In
”Then the king of Sodom, the king of Gomorrah, the king of Admah, the king of Zeboyim and the king of Bela (that is, Zoar) marched out and drew up their battle lines in the Valley of Siddim against Kedorlaomer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goyim, Amraphel king of Shinar and Arioch king of Ellasar—four kings against five. Now the Valley of Siddim was full of tar pits, and when the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, some of the men fell into them and the rest fled to the hills. The four kings seized all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their food; then they went away. They also carried off Abram’s nephew Lot and his possessions, since he was living in Sodom.” (Genesis 14:8-12)
The immature fall victim to their situation, in contrast to the mature. Lot at this point had more resources than Abraham. This is because he chose the plains which was watered generously in the previous chapter. Yet we see that the Bible glossed over Lot’s capture, which makes me question, did Lot even put up a fight? The situation brought upon Lot, clarified who he was as a person. As catastrophe only exposes what is already there in your heart. When hardship comes how do you react?
- Self-pity
- Doubt
- Depression
- Faithlessness
The mature then finds victory in whatever situation
”A man who had escaped came and reported this to Abram the Hebrew. Now Abram was living near the great trees of Mamre the Amorite, a brother of Eshkol and Aner, all of whom were allied with Abram. When Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, he called out the 318 trained men born in his household and went in pursuit as far as Dan. During the night Abram divided his men to attack them and he routed them, pursuing them as far as Hobah, north of Damascus. He recovered all the goods and brought back his relative Lot and his possessions, together with the women and the other people. (Genesis 14:13-24)
Abraham must have seen the situation he is in and felt the same emotions as Lot. Perhaps he felt a feeling of fear, doubt as he comes face to face an army of 5 kings against his 318 trained men. He would be leaving his own household and possessions defence-less as he takes his men with him. Not only that but he would be travelling 240 miles (390 km) (that’s one way to Canberra) one way to save Lot. Taking perhaps a month or more for such an expedition away from his wife, family and possessions. Yet Abraham made a way, and God helped to make something out of the situation. The mature victors only think of:
- How can I succeed?
- What’s can I do about the situation?
- What would I need to do to get the job done?
- How can I change?
The mature take responsibility and they think no problem is too hard, simply inconvenient. In your life today, what problems in your life have you already decided was too difficult? For sure these 4 weeks of the new year you already understand the cost of changing, and some are already on the way of giving up, or have given up. My encouragement for you then is: Don’t give up and keep fighting!
Conclusion
Title: The Fruits Of Your Immaturity
In conclusion, we spoke of a few characteristics of the immature. They fail to learn but simply enjoy their life without thinking of the consequences their lives will have in the future. They don’t have standards in their life which will hurt themselves and the relationships they make. As well as give up too easily and don’t persist when catastrophe happens. Seek to change and mature this 2024!